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Woodland Critter Christmas - Full Episode - Season 0. Ep 1. 4HELLO ? ANYBODY IN THERE ? OH, NO, IT'S THE MAN- BOYWHO KILLED MOMMY !

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HE'S COME TOKILL US NOW ! IT'S OKAY, I DIED INSIDE WHENMOMMY WAS KILLED ANYWAYS. YEAH, BETTER THISTHAN THE SLOW DEATHWE'D FACE WITHOUTA MOTHER AROUND.

LOOK, I'M SORRYI KILLED YOUR MOM. THE SQUIRREL TOLD MESHE WAS EVIL. YOU GOT TRICKEDBY A SQUIRREL ? GEE, YOU'RE NOT TOO SMART,ARE YA MISTER ? I'M TRYING TO MAKE THISALL RIGHT AGAIN,BUT THE ONLY THING THAT CANSTOP DEVIL- WORSHIPPING CRITTERSIS A MOUNTAIN LION. YEAH,AND YOU KILLED HER. WELL, YOU'RE MOUNTAIN LIONS.

US ? NAWWW, WE'RE JUST KIDS. WE STILL HAVEOUR BABY TEETH. AND BABY CLAWS. AND A DEAD MOM. THERE STILL HAS TO BEA WAY FOR YOU TO KILLTHE PORCUPINE'S BABY.

WHAT ? YOU MEAN LIKE AN ABORTION ? YEAH, AN ABORTION ! THAT COULD WORK ! BUT.. WE DON'T KNOWHOW TO GIVE ABORTIONS. DO YOU KNOW SOMEPLACEWE CAN LEARN, MISTER ? DID ! AW, GOD DAMMIT !. SAID THE BOYIN THE RED POOFBALL HAT !

WE'VE MADE IT ALREADY,LITTLE CUBS, FANCY THAT ! EXCUSE ME,WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?. THE ABORTION DOCTORINQUIRED.

IF YOU WANNA BE IN THE O. R,A PASS IS REQUIRED ! I DON'T KNOW, I'M SUPPOSEDTO SHOW THESE MOUNTAIN LIONSHOW ABORTIONS ARE PERFORMEDOR SOMETHING. I KNOW,IT'S RIDICULOUS. WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK,I'M HAPPY TO INFORM. ITS ONLY THREE DAYSUNTIL CHRISTMASSO I HAVE LOTS OFABORTIONS TO PERFORM !

GATHER ROUND MY TABLECUTE LITTLE LIONS,I'LL TEACH YOU TO DO ABORTIONSWITHOUT EVEN TRYIN' ! AND SO THE LITTLE BOYAND THE CUBSGATHERED 'ROUNDTHE CHAIR BASEAND ALL DAY WATCHED ABORTIONAFTER ABORTION TAKE PLACE. NO, I WANT TO HAVETHE ANTICHRIST INSIDE ME !

WHAT.. KYLE ! WITH HIS POWER,I CAN FINALLY MAKE THE EARTHA BETTER PLACE FOR THE JEWS ! DON'T DO IT, KYLE ! AARRHGHGH ! DUDE ! YES.. YES ! NOW THE JEWS SHALLTAKE CONTROL OF CHRISTMASONCE AND FOR ALL.. AHAHAHAAHAA !( Kyle )OH, STOP IT CARTMAN ! THAT'S ENOUGH ! YOU AREN'T READING ANOTHERSENTENCE OF YOUR STUPID STORY ! I DON'T BELIEVE ANYONEINTERRUPTED YOUWHEN YOU READ YOURCHRISTMAS STORY ALOUD, KYLE.

THIS WHOLE TIME YOURSTUPID STORY WAS JUST A WAYTO RIP ON ME FOR BEING JEWISHAT CHRISTMAS AGAIN ! MR. GARRISON COULD YOUDO SOMETHING, PLEASE ? SORRY ERIC, BUT IF KYLE FEELSDISCRIMINATED AGAINSTYOU'LL HAVE TO STOP OR ELSEI'LL GET A CALL FROM HIS MOTHER. ALRIGHT, FINE,FORGET IT ! WELL, BUT.. BUT WHAT HAPPENED ? YEAH, DID KYLE BRING 1,0. YEARS OF DARKNESS OR NOT ?

WHAT HAPPENSTO THE LION CUBS ? WELL, I GUESSWE'LL NEVER KNOWBECAUSE KYLE DOESN'T WANNAHEAR HOW IT ENDS. NO, IT ALL WORKED OUT,RIGHT ? THE WORLD WAS SAVED AND I WENTHOME FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER.

DUDE, WHY DO YOU CARE ?! AFTER ALL THATI AT LEAST WANNA KNOWIF I HAD A MERRY CHRISTMAS ORIF DARKNESS RULES THE EARTH. OH, COME ON ! IT'S OBVIOUS WHAT HAPPENS. I GET KILLED BY SANTA CLAUSESO THAT CHRISTMAS IS SAVED ! THAT'S NOT AT ALLWHAT HAPPENS. AW, COME ON,LET HIM READ US THE END !

YEAH, YEAH,COME ON.. YEAH ! LET HIM DO IT ! ALL RIGHT,FINE ! A- A- AHEM..

AAHGHGH.. GOD IT BURNS ! AAHHHH.. MY SOUL IS ON FIRE !

OHHH, I DON'T LIKE THIS. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULDFEEL SO.. DARK AND EVIL ! WELL WHAT DIDYOU EXPECT, DUDE ? IT'S THE SON OFTHE DEVIL. OH GOD,WHAT HAVE I DONE ? I'M SORRY, PLEASE..

I DON'T WANNA BE THE VESSELFOR THE ANTICHRIST ! I'M SORRY BUT IT'STOO LATE, KYLE. SANTA'S GONNAHAVE TO KILL YOU. NO, SANTA DON'T ! WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE,IN A FEW HOURSTHE DARK CREATURE INSIDEHIM WILL CONSUME HIS SOUL ! THE LITTLE BOY FRETTED,HE ALMOST STARTED TO BAWL..

BUT THAT'S WHEN HE CAME UPWITH THE BEST IDEA OF ALL. THE LION CUBS !. THE LITTLE BOYQUICKLY BEGUN.. I TOOK THEM TO SEEHOW ABORTIONS ARE DONE !

WHAT ? NOW, CUBS DO LIKE THEYSHOWED YOU, HURRY UP FASTGET THE ANTICHRIST OFMY FRIEND KYLE'S ASS ! AND IN THETWINKLING STARLIGHTEACH LITTLE CUBDID THEIR PORTION. THEY REMEMBERED ALLTHEY HAD LEARNEDAND GAVE KYLE AN ABORTION. AARHGHGH.. OH MY,WHAT HAPPENED ? MOMMY ? YEA ! YOU'RE BACK !

WE MISSED YOU MOMMY! OH, GOOD. AND BACK HOME,THERE WERE PRESENTSAND LOTS OF FOOD TO GET FATAND IT WAS THE BESTCHRISTMAS EVERFOR THE BOY INTHE RED POOF BALL HAT. Watch Miracles From Heaven Dailymotion.

AND THEY ALL LIVEDHAPPILY EVER AFTER. EXCEPT FOR KYLE WHO DIED OF AIDSTWO WEEKS LATER.( Kyle )GOD DAMMIT CARTMAN ! NO THANKS,I'M GONNA GO HOME. G'BYE STANNIE ! G'BYE ! SEE YA ! WUF.. HI, STANNIE ! HI, STANNIE ! AW.. WHA ? HIS FRIENDSWERE ALL THERE !

WHAT A WONDERFULSURPRISE ! THE LITTLE BOY SMILEDWITH JOY IN HIS EYES ! WHAT TIME IS IT ? YOU AREN'T GONNA BELIEVEWHAT HAPPENED, STANNIE.

IT'S THE MOST MAGICALCHRISTMAS GIFT EVER ! PORCUPINIE IS PREGNANT ! YOU GUYS, I HAVE TOGO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW. I DEDUCE THE MANBOYDOESN'T UNDERSTANDTHE SERIOUSNESSOF THE FERTILIZATION ! PORCUPINIE IS A VIRGIN,STANNIE. HER CONCEPTIONWAS IMMACULATE !

SHE'S GOING TO GIVE BIRTHTO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR ! WHAT ? IT HAS BEEN FORETOLD UNTO METHAT I WOULD GIVE BIRTHON CHRISTMAS DAY ! SO SOON ! HOW DELIGHTFUL !

OUR SOULS ARE SAVED ! FINALLY, THE CRITTERSARE GONNA HAVE A SAVIOROF THEIR VERY OWNOF THEIR VERY OWN !

YEA ! YEA ! YEA ! THERE'S JUSTONE PROBLEM.. WE DON'T HAVE A MANGER FOROUR SAVIOR TO BE BORN IN. AWWW ! AWWW ! AWWW !

BUT WE GOTTO HAVE A MANGER ! CAN YOU DO IT,STAN ? CAN YOU BUILD USA MANGER, HUH ? YEA ! YEA ! YEA ! WHY ? WHY DID YOUKILL OUR MOMMY, WHY ? I.. THE CRITTERS..

THEY'RE.. BIRTH OF THE SAVIOR.. THE TINY CUBS ALLGATHERED TOGETHER AND CRIED,ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD BECAUSETHEIR MOTHER HAD DIED.

AW.. AWWW ! OOH.. YOU ALL RIGHT,LADY PORCUPINIE ? OH YES.. JUST FELTA LITTLE KICK IS ALL.

WELL, IT'S BEENMUCH TOO LONG NOW. I'M AFRAID OUR HELPFUL FRIENDSTANNIE MUST BE VERY DEAD. YES, THE MOUNTAIN LIONPROBABLY SWALLOWED HIM WHOLE.

I GUESS THAT MEANS.. OUR SAVIOR IS GONNA BEMADE INTO SAVIOR STEW. AWWW.. AWWW.. WAIT A MINUTE,LOOK ! STANNIE ! STANNIE ! STANNIE,YOU'RE ALIVE ! BUT DOES THAT MEAN.. YOU KILLEDTHE MOUNTAIN LION ?

IT'S DEAD. FOR REALAND FOR TRUE ? ARE YOU SURE ? I'M SURE, IT WON'T BEHURTING YOU ANYMORE. HE DID IT ! NOW OUR CRITTER CHRISTMASCAN FINALLY HAPPEN ! HAIL SATAN ! HAIL SATAN !

HAIL SATAN ! WAIT.. WHAT ? YOU'VE DONE USA HUGE FAVOR, STANNIE ! WITHOUT THE MOUNTAIN LIONAROUND,LASY PORCUPINIE CAN GIVEBIRTH TO THE ANTICHRIST !

YEA ! YEA ! WAIT, WAIT.. THE ANTICHRIST ? YOU SAID SHE WAS GIVING BIRTHTO YOUR SAVIOR ! YES, TO THE SON OF OUR LORD,SATAN, PRINCE OF DARKNESS. BUT I THOUGHT YOU MEANTTHE SON OF GOD ! WELL, THINK ABOUT IT. YOU REALLY THINK GOD WOULDHAVE SEX WITH A PORCUPINE ? NO WAY ! ONLY SATAN,PRINCE OF DARKNESSAND KING OF ALL EVILWOULD DO THAT- - YEA !

THIS IS CAUSEFOR CELEBRATION. LET'S SACRIFICE RABBITIEAND EAT HIS FLESH ! YEA, SACRIFICE METO THE DEVIL ! YEA ! YEA ! YEA !

AAGHGHGH ! AHGHGHGH ! DRINK HIS BLOOD,DRINK HIS BLOOD ! RARHRHGHGGH ! BLOOD ORGY ! YEA, BLOOD ORGY ! BLOOD ORGY, YEA ! FAMILY DOESN'TCELEBRATE CHRISTMAS. AWWW, BUT WHY ? WELL, BECAUSEWE DON'T REALLY..

BELIEVE IN JESUS. YEA ! YEA ! BUT DOES THAT MEAN.. YOU AREN'T BAPTIZED ? NO, I'M JEWISH. YEA, YEA ! YEA, YEA ! YOU GOT TOCOME WITH US !

YOU'RE PERFECT,JUST P- P- PERFECT ! HUH ? YEA ! WOO- HOO !

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